Slut. Me!

“We’ve just been talking about you!” the Agent from two weeks back said as I bumped into her earlier today. Only good things I hoped. Oh yes.

Her Actress Client, who has had one hell of a life, wants to write her autobiography. It’s still in the very early stages, obviously, but if it goes ahead, would I be interested in helping her write it?

Well... how long do I have to think abou– YES!

I’ve interviewed her Actress Client twice already: years ago in front of an audience, which I stumbled my way through, and then last year for a B2B DVD. Apparently, her Actress Client wants somebody she feels comfortable with.

Although they already know of a few projects I’ve written, I run through the list. The Agent mentioned a few things I didn’t know from her Actress Client’s life just to give me a flavour. I’m sure I casually put my hand to my chin to stop my jaw dropping. OH, HELL YES!!

After they disappeared off for lunch, I went off to make an absolute slut of myself.

There was another actress in the room I also interviewed last year. Back then, as I reached forward to clip on the lapel mike, she playfully thrust her assets toward me, whereupon the microphone popped from my grasp and dropped straight down her low-cut top. (It was an accident!) This time, as I handed over my new business card, her shoulders went back as... you guessed it!

The next actress I encountered was also interviewed last year. As we catch up, she mentions the voiceover work she’s been doing recently. Funny that; we’re going to need a new voiceover artiste for the corporate work. Where did those cards go?

And then there was another actress I first met four years ago. Cards are exchanged as she tells me I simply must write a part for her. In what, I’m not sure. But any more lipstick smudged on my face and I half expected someone to sympathise about my ‘sunburn’.

Slutted out, I retired to spend the remainder of the afternoon with the Delightful LA Actress. We went over the pages I wrote up last night, suggesting the format for a possible drama about the SOE agent. And boy, was she amazed yesterday when I told her I had tracked the woman down.

As the conversation eventually sidled away from the work-related, faces eventually turned our way and, abashed, we dialled it down a little after DLAA described what women want from James Bond on the cinema screen.

Apparently, it’s very different from what men look for.

After watching her playful re-enactment, I so want to be sitting in the same row when she goes to see Casino Royale.