...Feel The Length

Sorry, this isn’t about porn. I just thought I better get that out the way first. That time may come, but the post will probably be titled Kiss My Whip or Oh... Buttery or just Spank Hard!

Instead... Hot Fuzz. Well, that’s close I suppose. As well as The Departed, I finally got around to catching up with Hot Fuzz. Not as funny as Shaun Of The Dead, but still funny nonetheless. Especially the insert shot of the swear box lid with punctuation marks on BAS!*RD, SH!T and F*@K, but nothing to disguise CUNT. Oh, and NOB was misspelt.


Obviously you’re going to get a lot of mileage out of smashing Bruckhammer action movies into a sleepy Somerset village that would more likely be home to Miss Marple. With the obvious juxtapositions and the required Bayhem frame fucking.

Edgar Wright and Simon Pegg did it really well, but God did it go on. Come the multiple showdowns it felt like instead of taking the piss out of overblown action movie showdowns the pair had fallen in love with them.

It’s pretty obvious that nowadays most movies are just too damn long. A while back I mentioned that Ridley Scott’s Director’s Cut of Kingdom of Heaven is perhaps one of the few recent films that benefits from the additional footage, putting the conflict in better context.

Another film that can be added to the list is 1941. Work Buddy brought back a copy of the Region 1 DVD with close to half an hour of material reinstated. I first saw it when it was out on general release in 1979/80, not because Spielberg directed it but because it starred Belushi.


Now, as then, it isn’t all that funny, which is a problem given that it’s supposed to be a screwball comedy. The best laugh comes from the howling continuity gaffe where the two lookouts up on the ferris wheel swap places midway through the film for no apparent reason.

Technically it’s a nice piece of work, and quite entertaining, but it’s just proof that Spielberg can’t do slapstick. The bizarre thing is, the extra footage, which is predominantly character-based, turns them into far better-rounded individuals to replace the cartoon buffoons that first appeared up on screen.

The best laughs come from The Making of 1941 feature, which kicks off the package of extras. Writers Bob Gale and Bob Zemekis, and producer John Milius giggle over their seditious intentions for the script originally entitled The Night the Japs Attacked.

While Spielberg reveals that the part of “Vinegar Joe” Stillwell, which went to Robert Stack, was initially offered to John Wayne. Outraged, The Duke thought it was anti-American drivel – not a great surprise there – and tried to talk him out of directing it. Then he admits that he envisioned 1941 as an "old fashioned Hollywood musical." Ah, okay.

...Anyway, how about Nympho Dwarf Anal Eruption for a porn title? It just popped in my head. Maybe I should enter that into one of the bloggy logline competitions doing the rounds.