Inside Drawer A
Looked through the drawers yesterday to see what had been left “maturing in wood”. Time to make a decision on which one to take another pass on...
Hang on, haven't we been here before? Well yes, but somebody - that would be you Dolly - complained that the pages were too darn small to read when they were individually expanded.
Trying to swap the jpgs for larger pngs, I managed to delete the original post. Look, it has been a long week and I'm tired, okay. So, for the second time in three days...
Inside Drawer A was:
All opinions still welcome.
posted by Good Dog @ 8:35 pm
7 mouthy comebacks
7 Comments:
Oh, good grief....
Yeah, I know. On page 02 GRUFF VOICE becomes simply VOICE.
Do you really want me to change the page? I'll probably delete the whole flippin' blog. So live with it.
Ok you keep the story moving and I'm asking questions about what's happening all along, and trying to guess what's happening etc.
And your prose are very elegant.
BUT WHERE ARE THE GIRLS????????
I'm going to have to have a seriously gruff word with you..
Dolly, there are women in it. Honest.
Let me see, what can I tell ya...?
One has a very pro-active, take-charge role. Makes her first appearance on page 13 and effectively sets the events of the second and third act in motion.
The second main female role is linked to Carlone and appears partway through the script after being referenced.
The third female role, also referred to later on - and seen two or three times in flashback - is the reason Carlone is where he is at the beginning of page 01.
Yes, I said flashback. I know. There are five or six scenes that explain how Carlone got to where he is on page 01. They appear at key points in the script and run in reverse order as a counterpoint to the ongoing narrative.
Ok I suppose I will let you off. But only because it's you.
Thanks honeybun. You know it makes sense.
Phew... good job I didn't mention that one of the female characters gets her face bashed in, is rolled up in a rug and then dumped.
....Aaaah!!!
As long as it's a nice rug it shoulnd't be a problem. None of your tatty shite like.
"And your prose are very elegant"?
That’s right up there with All your base are belong to us... ;-)
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