B For Blameless

I suppose I should apologise to everyone who flicked over to Thought Wad yesterday expecting the Adrian Mead Workshop notes or, at the very least, some new content. But I’m not going to.

Obviously it wasn’t my fault nothing new was posted. Nothing is my fault. I am completely blameless. You see, this morning I caught sight of the Metro, the free newspaper handed out on the Underground by London Transport to help distract passengers and stop them going ga-ga and completely wigging out over the usual delays and shoddy service.

One of the lead stories concerned a 29-year-old woman who is suing her landlord over injuries sustained from falling through a skylight in a garage roof after a night’s partying. Apparently, see, the landlord should have warned her not to dance on the roof after drinking. Of course.

Never mind that the garage was not part of the property she rented. Never mind that to reach the roof she had to climb out of a window because there was no proper access. Oh, and it happened five years ago as well.

According to the report, the outcome of the hearing could affect the warnings landlords have to give their tenants about the dangers in an around their properties. Obviously. Because no way is the woman to blame.

As a member of the new culture of victims who sue councils because they trip off a curb or look for someone other than themselves to blame when they tumble down the stairs because they didn’t tie their shoelaces, she deserves everything she can get.

Although the preferred result would have been that back when it happened, she went head first into a concrete floor with such force that her tiny pea brain ended up wedged in her sphincter.

But then if everyone took responsibility for their own lives... what kind of bizarre world would we be living in?