Monday, February 23, 2009

Nasty

I was all set to have an early night, retiring with my copy of Neal Stephenson’s Cryptonomicon for what must be the fourth time around and therefore knowing I’d most probably end up reading close to one hundred pages before turning in. Then I made the foolish mistake of checking my email before logging off and discovering a note from Mister Mark that directed me to this article on TimesOnline.

I hadn’t heard of Songsmith before simply because it’s a piece-of-shit Microsoft package and there’s no doubting that Apple’s Garageband, which comes as part of their iLife software, runs rings around it. But damn, this is just so utterly wrong



Of course if you want to see something totally execrable, check the Songsmith promotional video at the end of the TimesOnline article. Everyone involved in the making of it should have strips of raw salmon stapled to their hides before they’re thrown to the hungry grizzly bears. I only managed to get about halfway through before wanting to spray acid into my eyes. God, I’m going to have nightmares!

4 Comments:

At 9:23 pm, Blogger qrter said...

Ye gods! I had seen that mindboggling ad (there are a couple, I believe) but this is just incredible.

Great idea to feed original vocals into the heinous piece of software - just listen what happens to The Police's "Roxanne".

I wonder if this is what Orwell imagined the machines would be like that churn out 'prolefeed' in Nineteen Eighty-Four..

 
At 9:24 pm, Blogger qrter said...

Forgot the link to "Roxanne" - click

 
At 5:04 pm, Blogger Lucy said...

Why in the name of Christ Almighty would you read something four times??? Unless your senility is really taking its toll of course, sorry GD...

 
At 6:32 pm, Blogger Good Dog said...

grter, my friend that rendition of Roxanne is utterly horrendous. These appalling Songsmith songs are probably pumped into the detention cells at Guantánamo Bay.

Lucy, Lucy, Lucy.... that is such an utterly stupid question I don't think I can even answer it.

 

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