Monday, June 28, 2010

"Crom!"

I’ve been trying to scribble down a few observations before the month is out, evidently without much success. In the end I really wasn’t that bothered that Spartacus: Sausage and Smash had too much testosterone for my liking or Warehouse 13 worked as enjoyable fluff until, in a recent episode, the characters had to get from A to B in a set time and rather than decide on the optimum route while on the move, they stood around arguing over the best way to go while the clock ticked down.

And anyway, there are better things to do than agonize over decidedly average television shows, like continue the ongoing adventures with the Luminous Beauty, which saw us accidentally locked in Regent’s Park after dark, early last week. With the wonderful interweb playing silly beggars over the past few days, it turned out I didn’t have to bother cooking up something to post because my service provider couldn’t give a damn. But since today is the fourth anniversary of Blowing My Thought Wad, I figured I ought to make an effort to celebrate the blog birthday. So for a laugh, here’s Conan the Barbarian: The Musical.

4 Comments:

At 10:11 am, Blogger Stephen Gallagher said...

No way am I clicking on this. Once was enough and I'm still recovering. I can only think of two movies that I've seen where I genuinely felt that my time had been wasted and a piece of my life stolen under false pretences. Conan was one, and the other was The Da Vinci Code.

 
At 3:45 pm, Blogger Good Dog said...

Stephen,

Go on, you know you want to. It’s very Whedonesque, especially around the 2:15 mark, and makes up for how utterly godawful the film was. I'll ask you next Monday what you thought of it.

What makes Conan the Barbarian even worse was that it was co–written and directed by John Milius who had previously made The Wind and the Lion and Big Wednesday. What was he thinking? Take Howard’s Cimmerian warrior and keep the brawn but ditch the brains, rendered in the form of the almost unintelligible Austrian Oak... I don’t think so. I can still remember reading the end of Black Colossus, where the red rage comes over Conan and he crushes Yasmela with his arms. And if I want a decent adaptation I’ll go to the classic Marvel Comics stories by Roy Thomas and Barry Windsor–Smith.

Oh, and worse for me, I had to watch (and then review) Conan the Destroyer. What did I do to deserve that?

Having steered well clear of Dan Brown’s kindergarten scribbles, I didn’t mind the film version of The Da Vinci Code that much, but still think it would have worked better as a mini-series to make it less bonkers than it was.

 
At 6:24 pm, Blogger Stephen Gallagher said...

"He is Conan... he does not cry... so I must cry for him."

More like He is Arnold... he can't feckin act... and I'm crying because I can't get out of this movie...

You're coming to the Chimera screening? Ace. Will I, erm... recognise you from the photo?

 
At 7:42 pm, Blogger Good Dog said...

There is a clip where Arnie is supposed to be lost in thought but just looks like a big lump of dense matter.

Having missed out on Ray's event, I'm ticketed up for Chimera and both of Brian Clemens' talks. Still like the photo but with shoulder length hair (because the ladies like it).

 

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