Code Blue

I noticed that on the BBC iPlayer the first episode of Spooks – Code 9 was given the guidance ‘Contains some strong language’. The odd muttered “fuck”, included in the episode to make it “edgy” for BBC Three, was nothing like the fucking language heard here as I watched this twatting great steaming pile of retarded horseshit.

I suspect I’m not the target audience because I don’t need L and R painted on my shoes and can tie my own laces. Also I’m not a knuckle-dragging fucktard. But this offshoot was simply more evidence that if the BBC wants to save both money and their reputation, Three needs to be scrapped.

The idea that a nuke goes off under the 2012 Olympic stadium and, with the capital now uninhabitable and presumably the main centres of government and the security services knackered, MI5 implements a system of recruiting new agents. Rather than sniff around the Oxbridge student population they get slack-faced fucknuts who are young and “street”.


What a great idea! The reasoning behind getting youths sign up for Queen and Country was that, just like policemen, the terrorists are getting younger as well. For fuck’s sake! The only thing missing from this idiot group of wazzocks was a big Great Dane that habitually scarfed snacks to help solve their mysteries.

Last week the BBC cancelled the lamentable Holby Blue because nobody wanted to watch it and Corporation suits, apparently, were concerned it’s abject failure as an interesting an appealing drama could “undermine the Holby brand”. After all, Casualty and Holby City are sparkling examples of... er, uninteresting and unappealing dramas.

A few more episodes of Spooks – Code 9 and the special Spooks brand is going to look like it excitably shit all over itself. That would be a shame because Spooks is perhaps the only British drama that actually embraces intelligent and fast paced storytelling. Given the rubbish Kudos have been spewing out of late, it’s probably the only decent programme the company is making.

Right when the episode had finished on iPlayer, once the end credits had rolled and identified Kudos as the culprits, it went to a grey screen across which was the statement:

This doesn’t seem to be working. Try again later.

I knew that, and no, I don’t think I’ll be back.